Of coffee and conversations.

Somehow a good strong cup of coffee gets my thoughts in order and I can say and think so much more .
But when barista from a very cosy corner inside koregaon park shut down it was blow I couldn’t take
It’s the perfect setting , almost hidden from the outside world so to speak .
Faces a green lawn , looks onto Osho Ashram on one side and a stary peacock does the rounds there on rare occasions
Apart from that only on weekend evenings does one feel that theres a crowd happening otherwise I could peacefully settle into a cosy corner outside on the verandah and sip endless cups of latte and ponder about various arbit unimportant stuff.

Its while sittin here that I remember A calling and serenading me with a lovely track from a very sidey hindi movie but the songs stuck in my head someplace and refuses to budge the 2 ladies who sat opp my tabel and drank their cuppas are etched into my mind too . the way I smiled goofily all alone and waited for my buddy I to drop in and how the grass in the lawn I faced suddenly looked so wondrous as if I was dancing a slow sweet dance …I cant forget .
The only thing is that my haven doesn’t exist anymore. not even a simple notice to let us know what will happen of the barista . its as it it never existed almost like the whole song episode never happened almost like watching a movie with an abrupt unexplained end .
I wonder whether the peacock misses the bread crumbs he got for free.

up down across…whats the good word

Sometimes I think what’s more difficult?
picking up the pieces and walking again or trying to find urself from the mess . life is that puzzle where the pieces that used to fit are in an auto arrange mode . as soon as u think u have it all figured out ..splish fblunk and hey what happened to the things u planned .
So I guess I now relish the fact that am a miserable planner and cant even plan my day if I was given a bullet point list of a to do list .
Umm comin back to para number one .
Another realization (with me getting so many so soon am wonderin , is nirvana far away?, and if I was to say this with A around he’d say its but jus one cd away ) in the gamble to get the pieces tog again some new one seems to have been thrown in! so heck what does one do with them , like unwanted veggies in ur fridge tray which we add to a veg soup simply cause theres nothing else that one can do with them , humm so now my lifes a mixed veg soup with some yucky veggies thrown in and burnt a bit cause the flames was too strong .
Nice very nice
Soup anyone?

The deafening sound of silence

Pierces through my heart and tears it till it bleeds
The sound so loud that the thudding of my broken heart is carried far and beyond by the wind
As the blood dries up it reaches a high pitch
Engulfing the heavy rain drops, the heat as it rises form a ground parched and drinking up the gift of the clouds
Enveloping so completely as that that existed all that I knew
Silence
Is so deafening
Scared battered
Lying in a corner of the room I weep
The tears dry up
The silence remains
Even when I scream loudly inside
The only thing that is thicker than the might and darker than the blood is the silence
The sound of silence is so deafening

My Baby .

Even though your existence is only a dream today

I love you intensely

The thought of a new life within a womb is love at its purest

How I would protect and care for you

How I would love and caress you

Oh my little one I love u so already ……….

The Unshakeable?

I try hard to smile
Then it all comes back
The dam I built
Begins to show big cracks
Water has started seeping in .
Run, I say ....
Before the flood takes over
Suddenly , I wonder ...
Whats left to retrieve?
Is there anything at all?
For , I have hit ROCK BOTTOM long back.
Flood Comes
Debris Lie
The stench of those ,
Makes me cry.
The weight of death
Too heavy to carry
The sound of prayer
Too Distant
Too weary ...

Its time to take control

Take control

Its time to free my soul

Time may have taken its toll

But Its now that I cant give in

I must keep going

On and On

Develop a new form

For

Its time to free my soul

Its time to take control